Its not easy being green, says Kermit the Frog.
Its not easy being a Christian woman either.
First off, most of the major church decisions are made by men, who in my opinion are never going to understand a womans heart- not truly. A man is a wild beast, connecting with God through wild ways and as I often put it, outside, dirty and down to the core of manhood. Before you click off of here let me explain...men are wild at heart, wild at soul. They are reconnected through nature and creation and the circle of life and all those masculine things that men love, even if its a secret and no one knows it. My husband loves our couch- we like being potatoes sometimes, but given the opportunity he is hunting, hiking, camping, gardening. He likes the natural way of things. It reconnects him to creation and God and whats good and pure and holy.
Women are emotionally bound creatures. We hurt more, we feel more, we love hard and we fall hard. We are more susceptible to other peoples situations and we are easier led astray (met Eve?) We aren't stupid- we want to see the best in people-God-snakes in a garden. We are harder on ourselves than others, we are harder on God than others and we are tempted as much as others. We sometimes are so much better in an intellectual arena that our men are lost. And sometimes we see things in the midst of situations that men do not see because that is how God created us- "The Helper".
This is where I feel like things get sticky. Partly because I have a lot to say, and partly because I love this newfound realization that if I speak the truth, and people do not like it, I can stand on the truth for what it says. So here goes. Women have been speaking for, martyring themselves over and proclaiming Christ since his birth. His mother did it. His aunt did it. The woman at the well did it. Joyce Meyers does it. Jen Hatmaker does it.
Mother Teresa, Women Of Faith, Proverbs 31 Ministries....I could go on all day.
The one thing all of these ladies have in common- Jesus and their profound love for Him. Everything comes back to Jesus for us, or it should. The money, the decisions, the curriculum's, the choices on how we handle infidelity, abuse, addiction, homelessness, hunger and brokenness. It all comes back to Jesus. As a child of God, how could I be expected to sit by and let the men in my life do everything, when I know I should be moving and shaking? I'm not.
I am not expected to sit back and let the men in my life, in my church, in my community do everything where anything is concerned. I work as hard as my husband. I love as fiercely. I cry when he cries, I laugh when he laughs, and I mourn when he mourns. I also pray with him, for him, around him ,without him. Without him? Yes, without him.
I am his helper, but I am also me. I have my own relationship with my savior that is seperate and above my relationship with my husband, or anyone else. I read His words, I serve Him. I pray to Him, I worship Him and I beg Him for forgiveness. I wake up in the morning and ask Him to make me better than I was yesterday.
I do not want to be a crappy Christian. I do not want to judge harshly, love with condition and walk away from someone because they make a mistake. I do not want people to be intimidated by me because they are afraid of what I might say or do or how I might react. I want people to be real with me, so I can be real with them. I want the people in my church to be less crappy.I want to know I have the opportunity for forgiveness and redemption, because that is what this walking with Christ is all about. I want to know if I do something stupid, its OK, because i am human, and we do screw up from time to time ( or a lot in my case) I want people to ask me about me, before making a judgement about me on the basis of a mistake or what someone else has to say.
I want to be less snarky and more sincere. I want to be genuine and free to praise, worship, lead, teach and love like Jesus did, because with Him, I got this.