Thursday, September 18, 2014

Giving Your Marraige a Chance

Marriage isn't for wimps.
Sometimes marriage can bring out the wimp in a girl, but for the most part it is a balance of strength and courage. A balance of knowing when to fight and knowing when to bend. 

Marriage is a grand adventure for some of us. Everyday there is a new hurdle, a new discovery. Sometimes the things I learn about my spouse do not surprise me at all. Sometimes though, I am completely shocked. Even after 22 years, my hubby and I are continually surprising each other. We are able to communicate without a word, yet sometimes when we speak we don't hear each other at all. It is such a unique relationship- marriage. 

Though I have never found myself comparing ours to others, sometimes I hear other women comparing their marriage to others, and it is unnerving.  To compare your own personal life with another is by no stretch of the imagination setting yourself up for major disappointment. The truth is, you are married to your spouse, not someone elses. We  all come from different places, different families, different lifestyles. Our careers aren't the same, our children unique. We have very different financial pictures, very different homes, very different homemaking styles. We have different marriages, so they should be- well- different.

When in marriage, we must not let ourselves get caught into the trap of comparing our relationship to that of others. Each of us brings something unique to the table-sometimes our spouse brings more (or less) than we bargained for. The trick to happy marriage is simply this- don't forget where you came from. 

Think back to that day when you and your spouse said your vows. What  ever it was that you said to your spouse on that day was before God and everyone. And you meant it. So did he. Somewhere along the line, someone has forgotten those words and what they meant.   When you find yourself struggling in your marriage, you need to remember the reason you got married in the first place. Sometimes your spouse forgets, sometimes you forget. I know it is only your responsibility to control your own actions in your marriage, so please do not blame yourself for your spouses decisions. However, there is something to be said for a woman ( or man) who takes some time to step back and evaluate themselves in the context of the relationship with their spouse. There are two sides to every story, there are two people in this relationship. Could it be a simple miscommunication blown out of proportion to reality? Is it a lack of confidence thing? Maybe it is just a minor oversight. Sometimes we need to investigate to get to the root of our marital woes. 

If you have a marriage that you are struggling in what are you waiting for?   Since marriage is forever, waiting to find resolution with issues is not a great idea.  Forever is a long time to be unhappy, on edge and frustrated. 

Praying for your marriage today.