I get tired of marraige being called an institute, like we all need a white coat that wraps our arms up for defending the most intimate, best human relationship God has blessed us with....
I get tired of:
- people referring to marraige as a legal union, as if its nothing more.
- people pretending what The Creator of the Universe created needs improving upon.
- married couples, men and women, constantly complaining thier marraige isn't living up to their standards, yet sitting idly afraid to make a move towards improvement.
- hearing spouses from both sexes are pulling apart from one another, feeling unloved, unappreciated and unwelcome in their marraige.
- watching marraiges go down in flames because of poor communication, accusing words and misunderstandings.
- not being able to help when a marraige is in trouble because someone might be embarassed or defensive.
- hearing all the ways people justify their marraige to be disposable.
- people comparing their marraige to others.
Marraige is hard, people. It is just hard. God has never promised a cakewalk in any relationship, not even the one you have with Him. But he does promise redemption and renewal, forgiveness and mercy. And He expects us to provide those things in our marraiges. Marraige is a covenant with your spouse and your God. It is not disposable.
How then do we support healthy marraige when there is so much going against us? We become the very thing God designed us to become- different. Take the road less traveled- stay married. Fight for your marraige.
Take the television out of your bedroom.
Shut off that phone.
Throw away that erotic novel.
Set aside an old fashioned date night...no friends, no family, no local spot where people can interrupt.
Write your husband/wife a letter.
Fix him/her a favorite meal.
Paint her toes.
Put lotion on his hands.
Do you remember your vows?
Is there a box of wedding memorabilia somewhere?
Pictures, cards, letters, something?
Pray over your marraige.
Have others pray over your marraige.
Admit to yourself you are a weak human, and sometimes you need help.
Go to therapy.
Find a way.
I have a wonderful marraige, but it hasn't always been easy, it is far from perfect, and sometimes it is hard. But we took vows, and we took them seriously. We love one another. We fall in love with one another with each new season in our lives. We cling to the promise God gave us that he will bless our marraige. And so He does.
If you are also tired, please be a positive, confident friend to the person or people who are struggling in their marraiges. It is so important for us to have a sounding board, even if just to hear our own reality outloud, to make it real, to do something. Make sure you pray with and for the person, the relationship, the marraige. Make sure you keep their confidence, so there is no interjecting yourself into their marraige. It is already hard for them to admit there is an issue. Don't be part of it.