This morning I came downstairs and couldn't find my coat. As aggravating as it was, what I did find was quite striking to me. My husbands coat was carefully placed over mine, on the back of a dining room chair. In the same way that he has protected and watched over me for the last 20 + years, his coat was protecting mine.
My big question then became, who is protecting him?
I know God is a loving father. He wraps his arms around his bride and children and never lets go, just like John does for me. I couldn't ask for a better husband, best friend, soul mate. But when he hurts, needs someone to talk to or just hang out with I am it. And sometimes I worry that I am not enough.
Man was not created for loneliness, sadness and being left alone with his own thoughts. Its nice to have those moments, but God created us to be social creatures. Loving one another, respecting one another and holding each other up when we are dragging. It frustrates me that he doesn't have that from other adults in our lives. Not any of our parents. Not any of our friends. Not any of the 300+ members of our church......(HMMMMM. That last one really is a problem for me.)
The truth is, my husband is worn. Emotionally, physically spiritually worn. He has given away his daughter in marriage this year. Our third child got his drivers license. Our oldest also got married and has a beautiful family. I finally graduated from college. Our youngest is in high school now. Among other things, he has handled it all with a smile on his face. But it has worn on him.
His hair is a little gray-er.
His step has lost some of its spring.
He yells at the tv when the Bengals are losing.( oh wait that is normal)
We had a conversation. It was determined I am the only one in this whole big world that gives a patootie about my man. And I think that is just an impossible theory for a wife to undertake, no matter how amazing she is. Which I'm not. So I pray. All the time.
I pray that my husband is soothed by the sounds of God's creation.
I pray that my husband holds tight to his faith.
I pray that I can be enough for him.
I pray that he knows he is an awesome father and husband and son, regardless of how others treat him.
I pray that he knows the disrespect he has been given is not earned, its just thrust upon him for no good reason.
All of the things he has done for me and for my children could never compare to the things God has done for us. But they are all based on the things God has provided, and that makes my husband the best.
He deserves my love, respect and to be honored and cherished. And I am happy to oblige. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I love him unconditionally.
I also want to say- sometimes when I write the truth is not shiny. Its ok. Because the truth is good and it sets you free. Even when it hurts.
Praying for husbands everywhere- for their loneliness, their laughter, and their wives.