Hot Mess

So far this year it has been pointed out to me that I am intimidating, some people are fearful of me, and some friends do not know how to talk to me when I am in "that place". 

I guess I am impossible. 
And I do not know what "that place" is. 
And what a way to kick off the new year.

It is so good to be me, because all of my life God has been preparing me for comments and feelings coming from other people like these ones. The best answer I can give is, I am not Jesus. I want to be like Jesus, but I am not Him.

Jesus had his moments where his anger was a tool to reach people when they just wouldn't listen. Jesus would tell the truth to people knowing full well it might hurt a little. Jesus knew how to listen, advise and love. He knew how to come to another person and say "hey, what you are doing isn't right", then he would show them the way. He preached against the ways of man, against greed, lust, revenge. All he wants for us is redemption, and all we have to do is listen to what he has to say.

There are a lot of people with a lot to say- problem is, no one has the nerve to say what needs to be said. (Do you follow me? I almost lost myself there.)We want to stand by when a problem erupts into a situation, but no one wants to solve the problem unless it does evolve. When did we, as Christians, become so afraid of holding one another accountable in the same way Christ held people accountable so long ago?  When did we become wimpy Christians? (you could also insert the words friends, mothers, wives, husbands, sons, daughters, leaders etc.)

There is much persecution of believers right now on planet earth. I am sure it pains God to see the things the martyred endure everyday. But I am also certain it pains Him to see those of us who have publicly declared our love for him ignore our declaration of commitment and sit by and watch our brothers and sisters fall. Maybe the failure of so many to speak up comes with fear. It isn't just an international problem. Its a small town church problem. My fear is this: If you aren't willing to stand up for Jesus, marriage, love, children, families, other Christians in your own community, what on earth will happen if you have to do it on a grander scale. And how do you explain to Jesus your complacency?

I know I am not perfect- never in a million years have I ever even considered. I am a hot mess, and not in the "hot" sense. I know I appear insane to most. I am sure there is a white jacket waiting for me somewhere, probably for my next birthday. The good news is I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be committed to changing my life a minute at a time to be a reflection of who Christ wants me to be. That is why my blog is entitled "Metamorphosis"...I am ever changing. God is never going to be finished with me. Not ever. But it is not an overnight fix. I didn't become me in a day, I cannot become new in a day. 

So where do I go from here? I have to face the facts: some people will never get to know the real Angie, because they can't bring themselves to let go of the previous version. Others will always be in my corner ( thanks mom , dad, hubby and Angie R.) regardless of the stupid things I get myself involved in. Some people will grow with me, some will grow away from me. Some will become adversaries because the Jesus in me clashes with their lifestyle. Some just won't bother to get to know me at all... And these things are all OK because they are all a part of Gods master plan for me in this life. 

I feel like this was really random, and sometimes my head is like that. Random. But I feel if I have something to say, and Jesus would approve, then I should say it. Speaking up has never been a problem for me, so maybe that is a part of me I need to hang onto. And regardless of where God sends me, I am going. I hope you will all follow along for the journey, because its going to be an awesome ride.