Monday, October 6, 2014

Friendship and Marraige

Being the BFF of your spouse is an awesome adventure. Marriage is an awesome adventure. It can also be a time of great connection, amazing conversations and long road trips. Marriage and friendship belong together.

When God created woman, he intended for her to be a "helper" to man. Everyone else had a mate, yet man stood alone. Instead of taking her from the earth, like He did everything else, He took her from his best creation- man. 

God really put some planning and thought into this one. He was so in tune with His creation, He knew exactly what it needed. When woman joined the side of man in the garden, there became a blessed and inseparable bond between them. They became one in all ways, mind body and soul.

This "one-ness" is exactly how marriage is patterned. God gives us a few really important rules, and we abide by them in our marriages. When we follow God's plan for our marriage, we are blessed within that union beyond measure.  We have a closeness and a friendship that maybe some married couples just do not understand.

 It can become tricky at times, when another married couple is having some difficulty. It can be hard to hear others say "oh, your marriage is so perfect"  ( I normally cringe when I hear this one- I believe you should never compare this part of your life to someone else.) When our marriage is put through a test- and this does happen, we determine what is more important- to argue over something or to fight for something.
*Fighting for something ( your marriage) is something you have to do together. 
*Arguing over something is something you do apart- there is no strength there.

Spending time together, fighting for our friendship is always a better time than trying to figure out who is "right" when we disagree. For our marriage personally, arguing over trivial things is not normally an option. Sure, its fun to be "right" about a baseball score, or a detail in a movie. The trick is to be respectful about being right- having fun with details and not taking yourself too seriously. When we spend time together alone it is important to us both that we communicate our wants, needs and desires on every level. Everything that we disagree about must be resolved and communicated clearly. We have faced many obstacles in 22 years of marriage, and more than that in friendship.

Having my husband as my best friend sounds like a fairytale, I know. Our lives aren't perfect, and once you realize perfection in marriage is as impossible as perfection in any relationship, it takes the pressure off so you can focus on the real issue at hand- loving one another unconditionally the way Christs love is showered on us in our marital relationships.

Praying for friendship in your marriage today.

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