Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Doing What It Takes

Doing what it takes.

Do the work.

Make the sacrifice.

These are the three things I keep playing over and over in my mind.

The first one comes from a page in my journal, when I was feeling less than worthy and having a really hard time as a mother, a wife, a parent and a friend.

The second one I read in a devotion I get each day in my inbox from Proverbs 31.

The last one I picked up reading the Bible one evening, and it seemed every single thing I turned to was about sacrifice, from the mother of Moses to Mary mother of Jesus. Each of the stories were about incredible sacrifice for loved ones, and I was amazed at where my reading took me.

Let me first say, I have not arrived where I am without great sacrifice from a lot of people. Going to school has not been easy on my children, and I know at least one of them resents me for it, and may never forgive me. My husband has taken on the role of single dad many weeks during the year, and my friends have had to deal with me being invisible. Seems the only person that has not made any sacrifices , has been me. Until now.

I work in a restaurant/bar in a small town and although I am grateful for having some kind of income, I am not happy about working there. I worry my employment will reflect on myself as a person, and I do not want people to know me from "the bar". The job isn't bad, its the atmosphere and all of the humble pie I 've had to eat over the last 3 weeks working there. The pay is not great. but boy am I humble....and aggravated.

I am registered at a new school to continue for my bachelors degree. therefore, no one wants to hire me becaue my "availability" is "bad" . GRRR.

So I return to the thought I had before.

Doing what it takes.

Do the work.

Make the sacrifice.

We have to pay the bills, stay afloat. How do I do it without the guilt of forcing yet another sacrifice on my family?

Somehow, with prayer, grace and a lot of hard work.

Will keep you posted. :)

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