Friday, February 6, 2009

Putting on a good face- even if it kills you!

So I was thinking about some of the things I read about people who are my "friends" on my FB, and I decided it was time to "sort" my relationships. My friend Mary asked me what exactly that meant. I shared with her, and anyone else who can read, that its kinda like cleaning out your closet- you kinda weed out the things that don't fit anymore. I know through the vast amounts of reading Im doing these days, and the resources I have been using ( like Proverbs 31 website) that sometimes you have to "clean out the relationship closet" to really make a change for yourself! Every metamorphisis is unique, and can be beneficial. I have been taking baby steps this year- actually for months now. Im tired of wondering about some peoples intentions, and I am weary with worry over some of the things that people I care about are into! When I am trying to get myself together, its holding me back to the destination I need to arrive at, and quite frankly its a little scary to think I can't change who I am because of who I have around me all the time! I actually had an afterthought one evening after we were out with some friends- that I didnt want anyone to think I was like them! I felt horribly guilty at first, then I realized it was my CONSCIOUS attacking my heart, not guilt for thinking that way. I am trying to teach my teen and preteen kids how to be their own person, and still have healthy relationships, so that too is a reason to re evaluate. I figure, if it sucks the life out of me, its prolly not worth the energy I am spending. And if I need to "take a hiatus" for a bit, then if the person is truly my friend they will totally understand what "me time" is all about. I am finished with putting on a good face even if it kills me. Its hard to make these choices, but no one said life was gonna be easy. God only promises a safe landing- not a calm passage.

1 comment:

  1. Go Angie! I pray God gives you the strength to do what's best. And I love Proverbs 31 Ministries, but haven't been on in a long time. Thanks for reminding me about it! =)