I Appreciate You.
The words hung in the air as tears streamed down my face in the warm greenhouse. I was having an especially rough morning, when nothing I did met the unreal expectation of another, and I finally got some encouragement that I needed.
"I appreciate you, Angie", said Liz, my new co worker and friend. As I listened to her words in disbelief, I was in awe of her courage to even say such a thing to me that was so powerful. No one ever talks to me like that. Not ever. I am accustomed to criticism, cynical remarks, and snide comments.
I was an older college student- old enough to be most of the other students mom. I was a new employee to this company- had all the technical knowledge- none of the experience. I was a mom of 4, grandmother and wife. I had more life experience than I cared to share with new people. And the second I was spoken to like I was unworthy, all my fears and insecurity came rushing back. Her words changed that. They made me feel as if God had a plan for me, and it wasn't here.
Where God?
The only reason I lasted the weeks I did in the job was because of those few words. They were full of sincerity, compassion and love. Being misunderstood is one thing- being disliked and misunderstood- whoa. It was supposed to be a fresh start- little did I know it was going to blead to another new start. A sense of comfort came over me every time I heard her say it- even if it wasn't to me. I appreciate you. So its ok if you don't live up to the unreal expectation of every single thing that life throws at you. Jesus doesn't expect perfection- he expects obedience. When He speaks, we are to listen.
Do I think Liz was channeling Jesus? I'm not that crazy. But I do think it was a clear message to me that I was ok, that I was in the midst of a spiritual battle that only trusting in Him could fix, and that He would provide a way for me, regardless if I chose the incorrect path.
I haven't spoken to her in a long time- a mistake I made when I left. I consider her a seasonal friend- a person God chose to place in my path at the brink of my desperation. I had some great spiritual conversations with her, but the one thing that sticks with me is her ability to say, "I appreciate you". Not what you have done, but you. I often wonder if I could ever have the courage to be an encourager like that in the midst of an awful situation. And I often Thank God for Liz, my encourager who has no idea how much she impacts my life everyday with her kind intentional words.
Choosing intentional words carefully today.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
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