There are many Scriptures which refer to how to be a friend
and Gods expectations for us in our friendships. Lucky for us there are also
very clear instructions on what not to do and most of these things can lead to
tumultuous friendships at best. Let’s
examine some of these scriptures and see how they apply to our friendships with
non-Christian friends, and what possibilities we have before us to make an
impact on those friends.
Proverbs 16:28
“A troublemaker plants seeds of strife, Gossip Separates the
best of friends”
When caught up in conversations and girl talk, gossip can
creep in very quickly and without warning. Sometimes the difference between
girl talk and gossip is – well there is none.
Question: How to tell the difference?
Proverbs 22:24-25
“Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered
people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.”
On occasion we have a friend who embarrasses us with a
public outburst or a flash of anger we have never seen before. It is normal for
us girls to have “moments” on occasion. However, when those “moments” become
the norm, how are we handling them? Do we jump on the bandwagon and become a
mean girl, or a bully? Do we participate in these behaviors because it is our
friend? God clearly gives us a consequence for this.
Question: Where do we draw the line?
James 4:4
You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the
world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again; if you want to be a friend of
the world you make yourself an enemy of God”
Knowing that some of our friends are not walking with Christ
is the reality of the Christian woman. As a Christian woman, we take the
responsibility on of being a good example, a good mentor-whether our
non-Christian girlfriends see it or not. The part of us to examine is when is
too much – too much? Where si the line between ministering to another woman and
getting sucked into her world? Is it a conversation? A drink? A flirt with a
waiter?
Question: Where do you draw the line?
Psalm 1:1
"Oh the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the
wicked, or stand around with sinners or join in with the mockers."
In this verse, all I see is- “where do I get my counsel?”
It is important to council with Christian mentors. Having a
core group of women with whom to confide is a great asset that God has provided
me with. However-for the deep spiritual accountability and encouragement I only
counsel with two women. When finding a mentor it is best for her to be older
and wiser n her walk with Christ, not her age.
(annual festival party story)
Matthew 5:23-24
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the
temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave
your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person, then
come and offer your sacrifice to God.”
In any relationship it is important to have reconciliation
in conflict. One important thing to remember is not everyone deals with it in
the same way. Christian and non-Christian women alike have different excuses, reasons
and issues dealing with reconciliation. Some of us cannot issue forgiveness
because bitter memories prevent us from forgiving. Some of us forgive quickly
and move on, not spending time re-hashing situations and circumstances. Some of these women know Jesus, but some do
not. Two important factors weigh in:
Sometimes
asking for reconciliation is powerful for you both
Sometimes
it isn’t, and you just have to forgive yourself because
no one else will.
Being friends with non- Christian women is possible, and
important. It can be tricky – you have to be sure to have on the full armor of
God, with a little extra protection for your heart. It can be such a blessing to lead another
woman to Christ- it can also be exhausting trying. While we set the example, we
must also learn from the scripture how to be cautious in these relationships
and learn when it is time to turn a friendship into a seasonal one, and let
someone else minister to a friend who just isn’t ready.
Praying for our non- Christian friends.
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