Putting on a good face- even if it kills you!

So I was thinking about some of the things I read about people who are my "friends" on my FB, and I decided it was time to "sort" my relationships. My friend Mary asked me what exactly that meant. I shared with her, and anyone else who can read, that its kinda like cleaning out your closet- you kinda weed out the things that don't fit anymore. I know through the vast amounts of reading Im doing these days, and the resources I have been using ( like Proverbs 31 website) that sometimes you have to "clean out the relationship closet" to really make a change for yourself! Every metamorphisis is unique, and can be beneficial. I have been taking baby steps this year- actually for months now. Im tired of wondering about some peoples intentions, and I am weary with worry over some of the things that people I care about are into! When I am trying to get myself together, its holding me back to the destination I need to arrive at, and quite frankly its a little scary to think I can't change who I am because of who I have around me all the time! I actually had an afterthought one evening after we were out with some friends- that I didnt want anyone to think I was like them! I felt horribly guilty at first, then I realized it was my CONSCIOUS attacking my heart, not guilt for thinking that way. I am trying to teach my teen and preteen kids how to be their own person, and still have healthy relationships, so that too is a reason to re evaluate. I figure, if it sucks the life out of me, its prolly not worth the energy I am spending. And if I need to "take a hiatus" for a bit, then if the person is truly my friend they will totally understand what "me time" is all about. I am finished with putting on a good face even if it kills me. Its hard to make these choices, but no one said life was gonna be easy. God only promises a safe landing- not a calm passage.

Good Morning- Lets do this again....!

I am really excited about sharing some of the things that have been happening. First let me start by saying that when God closes a door, He REALLY DOES open a window. Sometimes its a small window, but its still a window. I have had the priveledge of being humbled not once, but twice in the last 2 weeks, and I can tell you- its not so bad. Sure, somtimes in the process of humility there is some hurt, confusion anger or resentment. But, all in all, its ok. I guess it depends on where your priorities are at the time. Mine, for example, do not lie with other people or their constant meddling. My priorities are within the walls of my own home- my FORTRESS, if you will. This is my castle, and I want to be in it. So here I am, taking a well deserved break from the work I have been doing all day, when the thought struck me. Re-evaluating your life is not only necessary, it is biblical! There are countless "characters" in the bible who had to do this- whether at their own guidance, or that of divine intervention- take Joseph for example. He was destined to be a ruler in Egypt. He ended up being a God driven savior of his people- a leader thrown into the position of leadership not of his own device. He was pretty much minding his own business, when- HI JOESEPH, ITs ME GOD! WOW what a surprise.! I still think that is one of my favorite bible stories. To have a whole other life placed before you, one full of trial and frustration. Very impressive that Joseph had the courage and the understanding to lean on God for all of his strength! Of course some would say- that is an old story from another time- it doesnt apply to anything in the modern day. But I think it applies to me. Facing adversity is something we are all learning about, and very quickly. Panic stricken governments and the harsh reaction of the media are two things that add to the pandemonium of the moment! Of course this applies to now! It applies to me, and to everyone I know! Having faith that everything is going to be good in the end is up to all of us, and we should be praying for those who do not have faith anymore, those who cannot see the open windows. One of these days we will walk on streets of gold. And Im thinking to myself that streets of dirt are ok, as long as I have the promise of eternity, and as long as I can have the faith to move mountains.